Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each other. ~ Galatians 5:26 ~
Beware of envy, for envy consumes good works as fire consumes wood. ~ Muhammad ~
A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones. ~ Proverbs 14:30
But if you harbor bitter envy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast about it or deny the truth. For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you will find disorder and every evil practice. ~ James 3:14
Edward constantly compares what he has to the possessions of other people. It is easy for him to find others, even close friends, who have better jobs and more money. He often becomes bitter and envies the good fortune of other people. Recently, someone quoted a scripture to him that jolted his thinking: “I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want” ~ Philippians 4:11
Envy, which is negative, can be changed to become a positive. If handled properly, it can motivate us to strive toward our own true goals. Envy is defined as a painful or resentful awareness of an advantage enjoyed by another person. Usually a desire to possess the same advantage is included.
When another person has a possession or status we don’t have, it often results in making comparisons between them and us. The outcome of this comparison will either be bitterness, “it’s just not fair,” or a feeling that we are not good enough to be so fortunate. Low self‑esteem is the product of this type of thinking.
Envy has a tremendous effect on us. It nearly always includes an intense negative feeling. We often hear the expression, “green with envy.” Envy can actually dominate the “envier’s” life, and could eventually result in regretful actions. Crimes of passion are often the end result of consuming envy. In the Bible, Cain was consumed with envy when he lost self‑control and took the life of his brother, Abel.
For jealousy arouses a [person's] fury, and he will show no mercy when he takes revenge. ~ Proverbs 6:34
This scripture actually relates to a husband who is consumed with jealousy and envy. He is described as a man who will not rest until revenge has been executed.
Where does envy originate?
(1) PRIDE AND A SELF‑SERVING MOTIVE: Pride can produce envy. If we think we are superior, we cannot accept the fact that someone else is more successful. If envy is based on pride or a self‑serving motive, it will lead to an unpleasant conclusion. For example, a person can be so driven by selfish ambition, they move up each rung of the ladder at any cost. It does not matter who is stepped on or stepped over to get there. However, once arriving at the top, they quickly realize it does not bring the satisfaction and fulfillment first sought.
A startling discovery is often made: The ladder was propped against the wrong wall. They often reply, “When I got to where I thought I wanted to be, where I was looked so good, I wonder why I ever left.” There is much more to life than wanting to gain recognition, fame, and power. If these are the motives, it is easy to become envious of those who have achieved more than us.
(2) CULTURE’S INFLUENCE ON ENVY: Culture has done a lot to feed the destructive growth of envy. Often, personal values are based on how well we compare to others. How much better or how much worse are we than others? Can we fare better than others in gaining a competitive edge? If we are better, the rewards of success are promised to be material worth, fame, and personal glory.
NOTE: The spirit of envy which causes us to attempt to outdo others is almost always done without enjoyment and without happiness.
(3) PARENT AND TEACHER INFLUENCE ON ENVY: Parents unwittingly support the emergence of envy through comparing one sibling to another. “Why can’t you be well‑behaved like your older brother?” “Why can’t you make the honor roll like your sister?” Teachers add to the problem by comparing one classmate to another. “Why can’t the red bird group be as pleasant to work with as the blue bird group?”
(4) LOW OPINION AND EVALUATION OF SELF: Sometimes envy comes from a sense of inferiority. Most people who envy don’t have a positive view of themselves. Others’ may be succeeding in life, but their success does not mean that they are better. Envy must not be interpreted to mean that we lack the skill, talent, and ability to achieve in life. Maybe someone else is more successful because they were more committed to their goals. Or they have worked harder to get the things that eluded us. This has nothing to do with significance and worth.
To overcome envy, Edward should ask of self the following questions:
(1) What is the basis of my self‑worth? Is it based on wealth, status, and power? Is it based on recognition from others? Or is my worth based on the type person I was designed to be? Are you striving to please man or God?
For am I seeking the favor of men, or of God? Or am I striving to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a bond‑servant of God. ~ Galatians 1:10
(2) Can I accept that people have different callings? Different gifts? Different talents and abilities? We are all unique, and if we are created according to a design and purpose, then we don’t need to envy what God has entrusted to others.
I am fearfully and wonderfully made . . . God’s works are wonderful, I know that full well. ~ Psalm 139:14
(3) Does my envy find roots in childhood experiences? Did I feel deprived of the love, affection, and acceptance I needed from others?
My God will liberally supply (fill to the full) you everything you need according to his glorious riches. ~ Philippians 4:19
(4) Do I have an attitude of gratitude, knowing that my attitude affects my altitude? Am I able to look at those around who are less fortunate, and to be thankful for what I have?
In everything thing give thanks for this is the will of God . . . ~ I Thessalonians 5:18
BOTTOM LINE: A show of envy is an insult to yourself! Don’t envy another man’s life as you stand waste deep in a sea of forgotten blessings.
Raymond E. Meadors, Ph.D.
Licensed Psychologist
Life Focus Blog
