LET’S GO TO EUROPE

Dr. Raymond and Carol, at times during the most sobering and serious moments of training, ask Marriage Seminar attendees to participate in a visualization exercise. The narrative goes as follows:

Get into a comfortable position—sitting in your chair, sitting on the floor, lying down, standing up—it doesn’t matter. Now close your eyes and relax. You are getting ready to go on an imaginary transoceanic trip to Europe. Your spouse is not with you. You are traveling alone. Plans are for them to meet you in Europe in two days.

You arrive at the airport, report to the ticketing counter for the checking of luggage and the issuing of boarding pass. Your sweetheart walks you to the security check-point before you proceed to Concourse E to board the wide-bodied jet. You wish you could travel together, but because of circumstances beyond your control, they cannot join you for another two days. However, you plan to take advantage of this short separation, because it gives you time to orchestrate a romantic environment for their arrival two days hence. The excitement is building for the reunion in 48 hours and both of you are anticipating the most exciting and romantic trip of a lifetime. This is really a dream come true.

You now enter the cabin, find assigned seat, store carry-on baggage in the overhead compartment, buckle seat belt, and prepare for departure. The take-off is smooth and before you know it, the plane is 39,000 feet in the air as it thrusts out over the Atlantic Ocean. You have six hours to settle in before touching down in Paris, France.

Three hours into the flight, silence in the cabin is breached by the captain’s voice over the intercom. You realize immediately that something is drastically wrong. Even though the captain tries nobly to sound reassuring, the grim news is a “nightmare come true” for anyone who has ever flown. THIS PLANE IS NOT GOING TO STAY AIRBORNE!

The captain informs the passengers that a fatal discovery was made in relation to the fuel gauge on the instrument panel. A dreaded computer glitch occurred in plotting the amount of jet fuel projected for the trans-Atlantic flight.

Terror grips the hearts of every passenger, including you. The captain continues, “Ladies and gentlemen, there is only enough fuel left to keep this plane flying for thirty more minutes. We are three hours into our flight, three hours from our destination, and only thirty minutes of fuel remaining. There is no hope for arriving at mainland Europe and we are more than three hours away from the nearest landmass for an emergency landing.

The phenomenon of life flashing before you is now a reality. Your mind immediately focuses on the ‘love of life’ you left three hours prior at the airport. The stark reality that you will not see him/her again grips your heart with penetrating pain. This can’t be happening. There is too much life yet to live. There are too many things left undone, not to speak of things left unsaid. This trip was planned, in part, to correct marital missteps and to lavish the relationship with the honor it deserves.

There are so many things I wanted to say, but I kept putting them off. I wanted to say how sorry I was for hurting him/her, but pride stood in the way. I should’ve asked forgiveness for the unkind remark, but I thought, “Oh, well, s/he will get over it.” I wanted to share my dreams and deep-heart, but my discomfort in expressing feelings robbed me of this pleasure. I said things that should have gone unsaid, but I wanted to prove my point and have the last word. I didn’t say affirming things they needed to hear. I planned to buy a special gift, but procrastination dictated. “Oh, Lord, if I had one more chance.”

The captain informs everyone that it is time to make final preparations. There are only twenty more minutes before the plane runs out of fuel and plummets into the ocean. You are told there is a capsule on board similar to the “black box” that is capable of holding notes and letters to be delivered to surviving spouses, family members, or friends.

You have less than twenty minutes to write a letter to your spouse and to say the things that need to be communicated.

What do you need to say? Have you withheld, “I love you’s?” Do they know how important they are to you? Tell them how much they mean to you and how destitute you would feel if they were no longer a part of your life. Have you demonstrated the fruit of Spirit to your spouse? Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control? Think of the things you hoped you could’ve done together.

Well, you asked for a second chance and your request is granted. Now is the time to commit to things you should be doing; to say affirming things that need to be said.

You have three options: You can actually take the time now (1) to write this letter, (2) to share your feelings verbally, or (3) both.

Share with your mate things you can do to make the relationship better.

While conducting a Marriage Seminar in Salt Lake City, a woman came to Dr. Meadors after this session and said, “Boy, I should have never gone to Europe, but I’m glad I did!.” The exercise was quite an emotional experience, but it also broke communicational barriers that existed between husband and her for many years.

God grants second chances, third, and whatever it takes!