“Sometimes our light goes out but is blown into flame by another human being. Each of us owes deepest thanks to those who have rekindled this light.” ~ Albert Schweitzer
Message from . . .
DR. RAYMOND E. MEADORS
Life Focus acknowledges differences in relational lifestyles. Relational Enhancement, as espoused in writings published by Life Focus, encourages participants in any relational partnership to appreciate the uniqueness of the subject matter and to adapt these principles in order to facilitate meaningful interaction with the one to whom you are endeared.
Dr. Meadors found from years of counseling that partners want practical solutions to deal with potential trouble spots in relationships. At times problem areas are small but, over time, little foxes spoil the vine. Partners also want to know how to accomplish what they ought to be doing to improve the quality of relationship.
The following story is presented as a metaphor (something used to represent something else) that describes many relationships:
In the world of the black widow spider, the male is considered the wimp of the species since his mate is four times larger than he is. Furthermore, only the female is glossy black; the male is white and gold. When the male comes to court his big black beauty, he does so very carefully. Though blind, the female is a sensitive, deadly huntress who knows every square inch of her web by touch. The male plucks at the web deliberately like a troubadour plucking a love song on a guitar. This constant rhythm calms the female and she awaits her lover’s approach. Every few steps he plucks again so she won’t respond as though he is just another insect caught in her web. Finally he reaches her, strokes her with his delicate front legs and the mating process begins. After mating, the male spider is exhausted and, in his weakened condition, often stumbles about the web as he tries to leave. These irregular vibrations trigger the female’s hunting instinct. She not only slays her mate–thus earning her popular title–but devours him as well. Unfortunately, the black widow’s pattern of behavior has a similar counterpart in human relationships. There are many ways by which couples’ dominate or abuse their mates, effecting a slow, sure death of the relationship. Marital satisfaction is among the first elements to wither in the “assassination” of a spouse.
This metaphorical story can be transformed to address multiple configurations of relational interaction. Hopefully, the story’s negative effect is balanced by Relational Enhancement resources published by Life Focus. Situations are described and practical guidelines are presented as possible solutions. Partners relate well to problems that resemble real-life dilemmas and situations similar to those in their own relationships. These are situations encountered in Life Focus’ counseling outreach, but names are changed to protect the guilty.
Inspirational quotes are used, where appropriate, throughout the text—these are faith-builders and give hope and encouragement to the reader. My intention is to strengthen those who are entering relational partnerships or have been together for 10 to 25 to 50 years.
Yours for Strong Relationships,